Renegade Thoughts

[Zane]

What if we’re really just shadows? Silvery smoke apparitions. Maybe we aren’t even real. And even if we do exist, maybe we’re so very insignificant that it really could easily be the other way around. As individuals, do we even matter; can we ever hope to make a lasting impression? Is destruction our only way to be remembered, or is that a whole separate vendetta? People often wonder if the human race is good or evil, you know ultimately, on a higher level. Are we good but it is society that destroys us, taints us with qualities of selfishness and greed that makes a monster out of a innocent lamb? Or are we inherently evil, and only a select few manage to escape the bonds of heritage?

Zane often wondered about such things, letting his mind wander down such philosophical paths. It was dangerous, such thinking, it was deadly. It was the stage that came before depression and self-pity, and then that incurable condition of apathy brought on by an overwhelming sense of helplessness. He knew not to think such thoughts, and to avoid ever mentioning them to others. But it seemed, that forbidden things really were hard to resist, and so the impulses were impossible to control. The black depression, it came easier now than ever before, and he wondered fleetingly if maybe this was what his father had felt? That thought caused a feeling of pain to stab at his chest and he drew in a quick breath as if to mask the pain. He pitied his father, but he hated him in equal amounts. That traitor, he had been a deserter, and Zane would never forgive him for that.

The wall behind him was firm and steady, something which he found surprising. Nothing in this world could be considered stable any more, so what right did this wall have to stand at all? It was comforting though, in all its concrete glory, and Zane heaved a small sigh as he rested his weight on the massive barrier. He was not one to smoke, cigarettes had never been his thing, but at the moment he found that he craved one. Never before had he felt such a yearning deep within his being, and although the nicotine would dampen it, he knew it couldn’t quash it, not entirely. Nothing could, no one could, and he had resigned to thinking that nothing ever would . The smoke burned as he inhaled, he was near to cough but managed to suppress the urge. Now was no time to be weak, now was not the time to show even the smallest fault. Because what if someone were watching, and wasn’t it always important to keep up appearances?

[lucy]

Laughter rings like bells from inside my mind, the tongues of which lick and curl caressing these awful notes are black. The color related to death and promising bad fate upon those who relate themselves to it. I can see the bitter mists coiling around their dark cloaks, malicious faces toying with me. They fell long ago, here now to taunt and tease. Lure me down. The black angels grip on my throat is strong. I can only do so much to ignore the pain.

Dark brown coils spiraled down her back, bouncing with her glide. She was wary of course, alert and watching for the monsters that lurked out here. The ones in every shadow, she couldn’t remember why she left her safe spot back at the manner. But she had. The bare floors no longer glistened but were covered with a recent coat dust. Her dark eyes scanning each corner waiting for it to reveal some horror.

It is dark I can hear the gentle thud of my own footsteps, the wind whistling through alley ways, the sound of my sharp breath, the beat of my heart. I admit to myself many times I am scared, thought know one else knows it. The sharp coldness of my knife brushes briefly against my knuckle. I imagine the street outside before, before all this happened. It would be harassed by the humming sound of cars and the smell of petrol from their foul exhausts. Now it is quiet the streets no longer laden with people or cars but empty. I am not alone though, those angels speak to me, keeping dreadful company.


Abruptly she stopped. For a while as she walked imagining the smell of smoke, she had thought nothing of it, thinking that she only longed for that comforting smell of houses with burning furnaces inside. She could smell smoke though not of the same sort, nicotine lingered in the scent. She was slightly confused and more cautious as she stepped around the next corner, hand gripping the handle of her gun.

[Zane]

At first he thought himself mistaken when he heard footsteps approaching. Surely he couldn’t have company; no, he must have been imagining things? Or maybe not, because no matter how hard he tried to ignore them, the footsteps just grew louder, and closer still. Zane’s curiosity was perked now, though with it came a kind of wariness as well. Was this stranger friend or foe? Was there any real way of knowing that until it was too late? He contemplated for a moment if maybe he should draw a weapon, then decided against it. Part of him knew that it was a foolish choice, and yet he didn’t care. He was so very tired, and the last thing he wanted now was violence. All that he could do now was watch and wait, and hope for the best. Maybe he would be lucky, and maybe he wouldn’t, but what was done, alas, was done.

Zane drew in another deep breath, this time barely even reacting to the bitter taste of the smoke. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting a sense of calm indifference wash over him. If this person was here to try and kill him, or otherwise cause him bodily harm, then they were in for one heck of a surprise. Years of practice had taught him how to appear docile and harmless, but to be ready and willing for battle on the inside. If cornered he could fight quite well, though he preferred to avoid it at all costs.

Suddenly the person stepped around the corner and into sight. Zane was surprised to find that it was a woman, but he hid his surprise and continued to watch her, his expression revealing nothing but neutrality. He could see that she had a gun, and appeared ready to use it as well. That made him slightly nervous, he didn’t like firearms, but he knew that to panic was not a good idea. If he startled her she might shoot just out of fright. Instead he raised his hands in an innocent sort of gesture. A motion that was meant to make him appear harmless, and hopefully cause her to lower her weapon. He chose not to speak, and instead remained anxiously silent, resigned to hoping for the best.

[lucy]

She felt her chest no longer rise and fall in the quick breaths as before, she had stopped breathing as to be completly silent so if her eyes failed her she could hear the culprit. A smoking culprit? This is what confused her.

She scanned quickly, a dark shape shifted slightly to her right. Though it was slow and did not startle her. Her brows frowned as she tipped her head slightly straining her eyes to see. It was a man, she stepped forward, lowering her weapon without thinking. She was not some awesomely skilled fighter, just a meager girl, alone in this dreadful world. "Hello?" She would find out if he was a threat or not.

[Zane]

Zane watched her guardedly as she caught sight of him. Apparently something about him surprised and confused her, because her eyes changed expression noticeably. She was regarding him with trepidation and maybe just a hint of fear, but he was glad at least when she lowered her weapon slightly. He heaved a small sigh of relief, and a weak smile lit his features. He watched her carefully for a few moments longer, then dropped his gaze to the floor. He tossed his cigarette, it had burned all the way down to the filter, and stamped on it with the toe of his boot, making sure that it really had gone out. Sure, they were the sole survivors of an apocalypse, the world was a hellish place and all, but that still wasn’t a reason to burn the place down.

His gaze rose again, and he nodded slightly when he looked back over at the girl. She looked young, no more than a teen surely, and he couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. What a place to live in, what a life style at that. Kill or be killed, fighting for survival until all that was left was just that, the constant struggle against demise. Like swimming against the current, no matter how hard you tried to stay afloat there was always something pushing you down, and no matter where you turned there was misery and woe. Was she alone here, had her family survived or where they dead? Such a sad fate that was, losing you friends and relations, one which he himself was all too familiar with.

Hey, take it easy, I won’t hurt you. Are you alone or do you have companions lurking around here as well?

[lucy]

She regarded him silently for a moment, eyes scanning his clothes his face as she stepped carefully closer. Weapon still lowered and hovering by her hips. He was older than her; obviously his facial features were sharp and handsome. She stopped a short distance from him, no longer needing to strain her eyes to see in this dark mall as little light possibly from the moon outside. It cast shadows on his face giving him some ghostly appearance.

She was alone yes and had been for a long time now, quite used to it. Coming across another survivor seemed a lot more forced than meeting someone naturally. Struggling for words even though they had obvious common ground. She couldn’t understand why, it was possible shock. “Yes, I am alone I’m quite sure. I am Lia.” She forced a smile to form on her flawless lips.

[dragoness011]

The sounds of voices startled her. It wasn't very unusual for people to come into the mall. She had made a home here and She liked it. But she had sworn she had locked all the gates? Why would people be here? Pushing her blanket off she climbed out of the bed. One of the many in this mall. If only she had power! It did get boring here by herself and with out power she could not play the many games in the stores. Which did piss her off to an extent. She loved games. But at the moment she had visitors!

Her steps echoed through the halls as she walked. Up to the gate she put the key she found on the janitor in the key hole making all the gates open and made her way to the top floor and into the operators room. Put her ungodly large gun on the floor she took a seat at the desk. A very nice desk that she took very good care of. Taking hold of the mic she sounded her voice across the mall. Which was odd considering there was no power but some things worked.

ello! Welcome to the mall to your right is a flight of stairs. I suggest you claim them so I can reclose the gates because someone has broke them open on entry and would really like to close the gates back up before we have any unwelcomed visitors. Thank you.

[Zane]

Zane returned the smile, glad to see that she was calm and didn't appear to want to harm him after all. He nodded when she spoke, glad to and yet at the same time saddened to hear that there weren't any others with her. His gaze drifted for a moment, rising up toward the sky lights above them and casting a quick glance at the moon. If one thing in this world remained the same, no matter what, it was the moon. The great silver orb still waxed and waned in exactly the same pattern, as if nothing had happened, and nothing was wrong.

Nice to meet you Lia, my name's Zane.

He paused for a moment, watching her through the semi darkness of the mall. It was strange, to be in a place of commerce, a place that was meant to house crowds of people, and have it be so utterly still. It was eerie, and the silence seemed to weigh down on him for some reason. He thought that he heard movement, somewhere in the distance, but that couldn't be possible. She said that she was alone, or maybe she wasn't after all?

Suddenly a loud voice echoed through the vast hallways and cavernous rooms of the mall. It was magnified, as if by a microphone, but how could that be possible if there was no power? After recovering from the initial shock, Zane listened carefully to the instructions that the voice gave. He looked back over at Lia and nodded, motioning for her to follow him up the stairs. After a moments hesitation he drew one of his knives from a concealed pocket in his coat. It was best to be prepared, and not to just go walking off into the darkness unarmed .

What the...?

[lucy]

Eyes were on his and her lips slightly parted about to respond to his words when she heard the loud voice. It startled her; the gun in her hand was up once more aiming towards the ceilings. After moment had passed, she realized what had happened “fuck” she whispered turning back to Zane “what..?” She questioned but he would only know as much as her.

She stood still replaying what the noise had said; she knew it had come from the control room. But where was the control room and why the heck should she go up some stairs? All she knew is that she wasn’t going. Whilst he moved forward she remained where she was, she noticed him withdraw a knife, telling her that he was just as unsure as she. She took a step back in answer to his suggestion.

They tell me things in which I could have guessed, it’s a human tone that rings through the microphone. I see that he is confused like me, but I shan’t follow him to my fate. They don’t want me dead yet. I want to find the female lurking around here first, before she gets me. If only I knew where to go?

[dragoness011]

"Please hurry, I would like to close the gates. When the creatures see them open they will flock into the mall. But if you do not trust me then by all means don't but with the front gate smashed pretty badly anything can get by. I'm closing the gates in 5 minutes so hurry please."

The voice echoed though the mall. She looked in the camera on the wall and saw that they had not moved. She hoped they would come, the place was safe and warm. And for some odd reasons some of the power still worked in some places (if only in the game store *sigh*)

They still hadn't moved. She wondered if she should go down her self. But what if she scared them! But it wouldn't really matter she would have to close the gates. She went to the window and looked down over the mall this place was a wreck and smelled to say the lest. Good thing she had cleaned some of the stores or she would never get to sleep. She decided to get up and start her walk down the stairs. Picking up her cannon and throwing it over her back she walked over to the room she keep her things. Going over to the desk she picked up her guns and put them on her belt. Walking over to the dead elevator she let out a sigh.

"If only you worked!" She pointed at the elevator and scowled.

Over to the stairs she walked half way down the stairs to the gate keyhole and looked at it. The front of the stairs was right around the corner, the part they could see. She taught about putting her head over and try to get them to come over her self. But then they might kill her in startlement! That would not be good! She would have to think of something else.

She smirked with a new idea. She put the key in a turned it a bit and the gate went down about a foot. Making a large noise as it went down. Dust falling to the floor as it went and stopped in mid air as she yanked the key out.

[Zane]

((*Smacks self* Sorry for the huge delay!))

Zane noticed that Lia didn't seem to be following him, and that instead she chose to linger behind. Wise choice maybe, possibly, most likely. Was he foolish to go up there, to follow orders from a bodiless voice that could come from anyone, or anything? He could easily be walking into a trap, but maybe that didn't matter anymore? Because really, if you thought about it, what did he have left to protect anyway? He had nothing tying him to this world, no bonds and certainly no pleasure. He didn't enjoy living anymore, and while he wasn't exactly suicidal, he came to realize that he was becoming increasingly indifferent, numb to his fate and his surroundings. So maybe this was risky, and maybe he was being stupid. But if you looked at it from a positive point of view, by going ahead he was protecting Lia. If something struck out at him, then at least she would have a warning. Hopefully it would help, he was no martyr, but maybe it would still be enough. He gave her a grave nod, then continued onward without her.

Again the voice boomed out over the sound system, echoing eerily in the empty caverns of the mall. Zane almost winced at the sound, how simple and yet so terrifying. Was his survival instinct dying, or why else would he feel so frozen? The voice sounded pleasant, almost kindred, but it could easily be trickery. He jumped slightly when he heard the gate begin to close behind him. Turning his head to take a closer look he noticed that the gate had stopped after only a few feet, as if in warning. What was the mysterious person doing, warning them, playing with them, or merely keeping what she had promised earlier? He wished that she would show herself and be known. Out in the light, or the semi light, things would be easier to deal with and understand. Zane swallowed, realizing just how dry his throat had become, and hesitated. He stopped, hunched down just slightly, and waited. For movement, for something to happen, or maybe for nothing at all. The silence stretched out before him, almost threatening to swallow him whole. This situation was disturbing, yes, to the tenth degree.

[dragoness011]

"What is taking so long do they really not want to come? I really don't want them to leave!"
Her hands grabbed her head as she taught. Probably just like them she was scared of the unknown. It was kinda stupid but true. The last time someone had shown in this place was had become a good friend with her. Then when they where out one day he had gotten eaten right in front of her. It had traumatized her for a long time. This place. She hated it. But unlike most people she had embraced it. Her feelings where always open. She was warm on the inside. She cared and never changed sense the time it all started when she was just a girl. This usually scared people and made them think she was some possessed person but all it really was, was that she had found a way to live a happy peaceful life here. She had not run screaming but was grabbed and dragged along. She had kept her eyes open and her prize was that she knew every turn in a 10-mile perimeter. Every speck of dust and every body on the street. Well no until she went out to check at least. She also knew all the good hiding spaces and how to walk along side the creatures and not offend of get eaten buy them. But it took a good amount of time and guns to do so. But she must always remember that they would still kill her and she had to be careful!

Lost in her thoughts she had just noticed that 2 more minutes had pasted and she hadn't even noticed! She let her head fall over the eage of the wall a bit to look over. She could see the man and the women. The man had stopped walking. But why. Was he scared of her? Well that would not surprise her much. She could see that the lights out side where going she had to close the gate. The creatures would start coming out any minute and she had to close the gates or they would get in. She would drop her guns and walk into view to see if that would make them come. She walked out and slowly and looked at the man and the girl. Apparently he did not see her come out. She grabbed her handgun and let it drop tot he ground loudly. Then she took her cannon out of its holder and gently dropped it to the ground beside her. Hands up she started to talk.
"Please I only want to help. There is no one here but me and I just wish to give you a warm place to sleep out of danger. I just don't want to anymore people die."
She looked down at the floor at these words and her arms fell to her sides and a single tear fell down her face. She looked back at the man and shook her head. This is no time to cry! She whipped her face off and gave him a sweet smile.

[Zane]

((Hey, I'm sorry Kitten, but it seems as if this thread is dead. Lia deleted her account and created a new charrie (Nicho), and I have no muse whatsoever for this thread. I'm really sorry...))

[dragoness011]

It's ok! *pats on back* I don't mind i just so many ideas it is really easy for them to get out of hand so I will find a new place to post then.*waves and walks away skiping and humming*